Once we all felt right as rain, We continued on our way again, We stumbled in upon a witch, With guards talking in high pitch, And burly man with chiseled chin, Who turned out to be a paladin.
This motley group they did attack, Garrison cried “I got your back!”, I scared the witch with spell of fear, But I had no cause to cheer, Away she did not really run, But we’d only just begun.
The holy warrior of light, He did join in the fight, On the wrong side, With the witch, She was controlling him, the bitch! Yes, we all were much surprised, The Paladin was hypnotized.
He broke out of the evil spell, Then he really gave ‘em hell, They foes were slain, their spells negated, The paladin he was elated, Reluctantly we took him with, Simon put away his shiv, If he became tool in the cog, We’d feed him to the Otyugh.
Continuing on down corridor, We discovered beggars, more and more, Simon used spell of the day, A thousand beggars he did slay, Garrison refused to fight, He said it wasn’t worth his might.
The beggars they all were dispatched, Then we all climbed through a hatch, Into a room with darkened ceiling, All of us, we had a feeling, That this room, it wasn’t right, And we all prepared to fight, Simon climbed into the rafter, Garrison burst into laughter, As Simon fell out of the sky, An arrow sticking out his eye, He hit his head upon a bed, And with that the thief was dead.
The Paladin rushed into the room, But he had run a bit too soon, He fell head first into a pit, We were really in the shit, We fought the thieves hid in the roof, We hit them hard with nail and tooth, A little girl jumped down a hole, All the fighting had taken toll.
We rested up and set a goal, We needed to go down the hole, After time we all climbed down, There was a sight that made us frown, Shots were fired from Hobgoblin bow, The battle it went to and fro, Our fighting style was best until a, Hobgoblin released a giant gorilla, We need to kill these foes quite fast, Thorsson shouted “Eldritch Blast!”, I stumbled and fell of a ledge, Between some cages on the edge, Of a dock by waters cape, From here we all dispatched the ape.
The captivity seemed to have taken toll, The cages housed some hapless souls, A baroness with maids in waiting, An ancient sage, whose health was fleeting, His apprentice and a some beggars two, And priest survived the hullabaloo,
The priest his name was Brother Bob, Thorsson said he could do the job, And fill in for our Simon (dead), But he was no priest, don’t be mislead.
Next we found a wizard charred, And a wall that had been barred, We killed a daunting shadow fell, And returned it to its evil well,
We also fought hobgoblins three, We dispatched these foes with glee, We took down a warlord with some scorn, The warlord he was dragonborn,
Then surprise, we have a fight, Turning into quite a night, A wizard and hobgoblins more, But we crushed them to the floor,
We found a chest that seemed quite empty, But Thorsson thought there was more to see, We crushed the base out of the chest, And we were all impressed, To find a massive emerald, Big and shiny to behold, But the thing most impressed to me, Was an expensive tapestry.
We found a rat god’s statue old, More of the story did unfold, We opened door to see the king, Of Beggars doing evil thing, His body desiccated dried up corpse, His brain by evil had been warped.
We slew the evil looking man, But something else it had begun, The walls they started to fall, We all listened to Garrison’s call, “Run! Right now!!!” the fighter blares, We all scarper up the stairs. We all make it up to the roof, Shouting words, most uncouth, We can’t believe our great escape, When suddenly and Umber Drake, Attacks without a warning cry, Downwards it begins to fly, A mighty battle doth ensue, We all take a wound or two, Till eventually it drops, And our adrenaline it stops.
We solemnly returned to the town, Were we could all settle down, Our time and money was invested, Our bodies needed to be rested, We went into the nearest Inn, Where I drank a load of Gin, This is where our story ends, Of how I made a few new friends.